sarcasm,chapter one

I'm pretty sure there is a man in the world daydreaming about me. He is contemplating my allure and our grandbabies and probably praying I show up soon. I am quite certain however, that he is NOT sanding his feet and rubbing organic AS SEEN ON TV magic nonsense on them. I doubt,as he ponders my sexual prowess, that he is measuring his pore size or examing himself for stray unibrow hairs. His toes aren't seperated while he wrestles between what shade of pink will really pop. It hasn't crossed his mind tonight that his hair could stand to be shinier or his ass perkier. Boys are so weird.