Customer Service.
Two words, one big fat nightmare. I've been taught that all business is customer service. I work in mental health, providing services to people who hear voices, see things, and believe kool-aid is juice. Still, I have to keep in mind that they always have choices. They can go to any provider in town...so I have a job to do AND I have to keep them happy. Customer service is always on my mind.
I once got hung up on for saying "bullshit" to a student loan company. This was AFTER they took an extra payment out of my account, overdrafting my account and causing complete mayhem, days before Christmas. But that was student loans, which I suppose is more of a dictatorship than a customer service issue. But for the record, it was bullshit!
The cable company I use has a new policy that states if a customer is rude to them, they are able to discontinue services. The same cable company requires me to take 45 minutes to pay my bill each month because their system doesn't recognize the @ symbol they require to log on to pay a bill online. Additionally, the same company crossed some wire at my grandmother's house, causing the 911 dispatchers to think someone at her address was calling and hanging up. The police came out to her house on several occasions. But please, for the love of all things kind, be gentle with the service provider.
I thought the cable company had the worst service known to man. That is untill my cell phone provider slowly drove me to the brink of insanity. I give them credit as I believe the patience they've shown in their attempt to send me into longterm psychiatric care is not only unusual but clearly took years of planning and dedication...to me, the customer. My prior belief that they were top notch can only be attributed to Stockholms syndrome.
Whenever my grandma is truly outraged she writes a letter to the editor, so bear with me, as this is my version of that...
Ten months ago I bought a shiny new red phone when it was time for my upgrade. Since then I've had four new phones of the same kind. Each of them hung up mid call during 90% of all phone calls requiring me to turn my phone off and then back on so that I could call back between 8 and 12 minutes later. Convenient. The response of the phone company.."wow, that is so weird, I can't believe that is happening. That never happens." Right.
Recently, I dropped my phone in a cup of iced tea. To be fair, the dog was whining his head off, I was lost, and my turn signal noise wouldn't stop. So I didn't have the good sense to just throw the cup away and walk away from the phone, contract and all and walk away from the whole mess. But I own it phone #4 was my fault. I paid the (very high)premium to get a new one and they sent it out.
Phone #5: the keyboard doesn't work.
Phone #6: the speaker vibrates whenever someone is talking.
And then I come unglued.
I decide face-to-face will work better, really get the point across. So I go to the store and am promptly told they can't help since they aren't corporate. Awesome.
So I call. And I try not to cuss because they will hang up on me. So I talk quietly and slowly because I realize I'm going to lose it. So some angry woman (no, not me) is going on about how its not their fault and how I should be happy to get a replacement at all. So I give in and say sure, send me yet another shiny red piece of crap. Can't wait.
Days go by. I start to think its odd that they haven't contacted me and the (SEVENTH) phone has yet to arrive, so I call them back. I get to speak with Scott...who I can only imagine is 22 wearing swim trunks and one of those thsirts made to look like a tuxedo. Scott Tuxedo tells me that he can see the notes from the coversation but that the (SEVENTH) phone was never ordered. Are. You. Kidding. Me? Scott goes on to say how strange it is that they would send me seven of the same phone. You don't say? And if I am willing to pay my bill a few weeks early(?) then he will be glad to see if I can get a new model. Now, that's cute Scott but do you realize how mad I'm going to be if I do that and you aren't able to help?! Good point, so he tells me, if I'm willing to be patient and wait to pay my bill as usual then MAYBE they could send me a new model then. All the while he is saying things like I didn't say this or you didn't hear this from me. How reliable.
So I say no, just send the replacement because "I'm sure when that one stops working in a few weeks I can just call back then."
And then he says the thing that sent me into crazy town.
"You know ma'am, sometimes when we think negative things will happen, they really do. Maaaayyybe if you can think positivly about this new phone( THE SEVENTH PHONE OF THE SAME KIND!!) then it will be work well."
You're right Scottie Tuxedo, the power of positive thinking. My bad. Now I see where. I went wrong.
He may as well have said I was asking for it. I said no but my cleavage said yes, or whatever those skeezy lifetime movie guys say. He did shut me up. I was beat into submission. Nothing left to argue about. Captive for another year. You win. The mentally ill have endless choices and I am stuck with these tricky bastards and the warehouse of shiny red phones posessed by the devil himself.
